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Are you a bride to be? Is it an arranged marriage or love marriage? If it’s an arranged one, you must be thinking about how to make your arranged marriage work. You will be now envying the couple who goes for love marriage. But whether it is a love marriage or arranged marriage, there is one common situation, both the brides are worried about. Yes, you are right. It’s about how to make your mother in law like you. Men have a special bond with their mother so if you could please your mom-in-law, then that’s the best thing you could do to make your hubby happy.
Bonding with your mother-in-law is not an impossible task like everyone thinks. Here are some points to remember to have a decent relationship with your mother-in-law.
Give her company to the places she likes going. This will be a great start to spend time with her. You can escort her to worship places, market, family events etc. But always keep in mind every woman is different so make sure that you are not disturbing her privacy.
Assist Her in Cooking
This rule applies even if you know how to cook or not. Don’t worry if you lack the cooking skills you can help her out in the kitchen. Chopping veggies, cleaning dishes anything will be fine. In case if you are a good cook, don’t ever try to compete with her or compare her style with your mom’s. Occasionally you could ask her to take some rest and prepare something for her. Even if she doesn’t like what you’ve cooked, but she will at least appreciate your effort.
If your mother-in-law spends most of her time at home, it’s your chance to take her out to the places she wishes to visit. You could take her out on a movie, to a spa, or to her favorite live shows. This will be a nice gesture of love and care. She will come to know that you are concerned about her as much your concern about her son. She will definitely reciprocate to your effort and you two could create a loving bond.
When it comes to bonding with your mother-in-law, what could be more helpful than a shopping? Without any doubt you could ask her to accompany you in shopping, there is a very little chance that she will reject. From groceries to dresses & jewelry, women love any kind of shopping. Shopping could be the first common interest you could find between you two. Also, it is a good chance to observe her and know her tastes, so that next time you could try some surprise gifts.
Ask Her Advice
The biggest fear of every mother-in-law is losing control of the house. It doesn’t mean that they are insecure or selfish, but they love to make decisions for the family. When you are having some trouble or confusion, ask her suggestions. Who doesn’t loves giving advice? It is the best way to show your respect and trust towards her. Be open to her suggestions and advice, but ensure that you never annoy her by asking advice on every matter.
Talk to Her
If you could have some honest conversation with your mother-in-law, nothing more is required. Talk to her when you two have problems, clarify the misunderstandings. Remember, she also has gone through the situation you are facing, so put yourself in her shoes and try to know how she feels. If this seems really tough, use humor to ease the situation. Stay polite always, never show your bad mood to her.
For this, you should have a good understanding of her likes and dislikes. Small gifts on some special occasions like her birthday, festivals etc. could make her very happy. If you don’t know much about her likes and dislike, you can compliment her when she does something good. Be genuine to what you do and never fake emotions.
Give Her Space
This one is really important, every mother wants to be the first woman in her kid’s life. Even though some mom never says it, but it hurts when their son treats his wife better than her. So what you could do is to give her space, let her have some ‘me time’ with her son. Don’t always hover around your spouse and try to know everything that’s happening.
Talk to Your Spouse
If nothing mentioned above is working, you only option left is to talk to your husband. But make sure that you never complain about her. All you could do is to explain to him how you feel. He could find an opportunity to calm the issues between you and his mom.
First of all, you have to accept the fact that, you can’t ever ignore this woman from your husband’s life. A lack of love between you and his mom will always be a terrible source of tension & frustration for him. So if you truly love your husband, try everything to get along with his mom.