When we hear of domestic violence, the first thing that hits our mind is physical fights. But, it’s only ONE of the many forms of domestic violence.
Let me help you understand the meaning of domestic violence. In simple terms, it’s any behavior which sole purpose is to gain control and power over your spouse or partner. If you have the feeling of gaining control over your partner, things start to fall down.
Love is a two-traffic affair where the feeling is mutual. And share equal rights to contribute towards that relationship. A man is naturally seen to be superior over a woman from way back. Well, this should not be thrown out of the window. But you shouldn’t take any advantage.
What are the other forms of domestic violence?
- Sexual abuse. By merely forcing one to engage in sex without agreeing into it. Or denying your partner the conjugal rights. Can also happen in instances of infidelity.
- Use of abusive words. Occurs when one uses offensive words to their partner. To embarrass, intimidate and hurt their feelings.
- Intimidation. Anything meant to undermine or lower one’s self-confidence, and threats should be avoided at all cost.
- Economic abuse. Where one of the partners decides to take control of the family’s finances. And denying access to other people to cater to financial needs.
- Male dominance. Naturally, men are the overall voice in a family set up. Many abuse this privilege by not listening to anybody and leads to differences in the family.
- Gaining authority or control. Everyone in the family should have a voice in the decision-making process. When you start feeling superior, fights will emerge leading to domestic violence.
From what we’ve just discussed, it’s evident that anything negative done to your partner can lead to domestic violence. Domestic violence is a form of crime in some instances and should be treated as such.
Solutions to domestic violence
- Understand your partner. By so doing, you’ll know what annoys him and try to avoid.
- Emotional support. For victims of domestic violence, you can get help through support groups and assertiveness training.
- Assist in building back self-esteem and self-confidence lost.
- Charge the perpetrators of domestic violence in a court of law. This will instill discipline and fear NOT to dare such an act. And keep them away from home.
- Coming up with strategies to manage a crisis. Like providing shelters to those chased away from their homes. Enactment of law to deal with such offenders.
- Women empowerment to be economically and financially independent. Because in such instances, they’re the main victims plus the children.
- Family court courts should be designed such that they give heavy punishments.
It’s worth noting that domestic violence affects ALL including children. Kids listen to the conversations around the house and will do what they HEAR and SEE. So, as parents, remember you’re not a parent, BUT also a role model for that child.
However, nature through cultural beliefs is a significant factor in the family set up. What I mean is, a boy is taught that crying when faced with a crisis is a form of weakness. So, he’ll tend to flex the muscle to show the superiority to women. The end result is domestic violence.
The best way to eradicate this menace of violence, we got to embrace each other. And treat everyone with respect. I remember when we’re dating, we do share chores in the house. But after settling down, things change. Why? Because we start to prove a point!
DIALOGUE is the way to go and should also be the first thing. If it fails, consult your friends and family instead of taking action on your way.